Pregnant Possibilities.

It's been a good day, I thank God for it. The words of the Reverend James Cleveland song ring in my head. The day is only about halfway over and yet it has been great. After sweet sleep, I awoke prayerful. As I opened my eyes, I quickly tried to bring to mind the dreams that I had. Sometimes I write them down and other times I just reflect on how closely my dreams correlated with the thoughts, prayers or songs which filed my head before going to sleep. This dream, although I can't remember it in detail, settled any feelings or restlessness that I had in my heart... it was like a completion of a fully experiential week.

I had the privilege of going to visit a potential core group which may soon be the flock that God will bless me to be able to shepard. Immediately upon arrival I was able to interact with saints from a variety of countries with even more stories of God's faithfulness in their lives. It was a wonderful experience connecting with so many saints and... wait. I feel as if I am rambling but I have so many thoughts and feelings ... all good running through my head about the hope and potential that God could do as I partner in ministry with saints who are devoted to following Jesus and being salt and light in a very needy community.

My meager attempt at explaining how I feel is this. Although I am yet unmarried, and not a father, I still think a fitting illustration is seen in the idea of a pregnant couple. It's as if the entire time that I've been here in Chicagoland I know that God has grown my ministry as a woman pregnant with a child. There is a sense of expectation about the future ministry that I would have, albeit in an unknown place. This past week I had a glimpse of the ultrasound. The vision of a potential ministry on the horizon - experiencing the presence of God in a fresh way, meeting people and seeing a fertile place - fired me up! It's like a dad painting the walls, putting together the crib and sharing the news even more fervently about his upcoming joy... that he's experiencing even now. The ministry will soon be birthed, and right now I am still preparing even with greater anticipation.

ATLiens - a trip for the Lord

In the School of Ministry we have "vacation time" per se, but occasionally the good Dr. Jones allows us to slip away to connect with our friends who aren't in the Chicagoland area. This past weekend was one such privileged time. I had the opportunity to go down to Atlanta to visit a great friend Jesse, and celebrate his birthday. And as could be expected God opened my eyes to several great experiences.

First of all, the plane ride down was delayed an hour. Frustrating because I frantically hurried through Friday night rush hour traffic for nothing. However, after boarding the plane, I sat in the wrong seat. Yet God planned for that to happen. I had the wonderful opportunity to share my faith with Dave; a Jewish 20 year old from New York headed back to continue his junior year at Emory. I was reading "The Bondage Breaker" by Neil Anderson - a book to help believers understand and know how to combat Spiritual Warfare based on the truth of their identity in Christ. Now, as you might guess when he asked what the book was about, I hesitated for fear of "weirding" him out. Since I had no idea where he stood in regards to understanding faith in Christ. Typically when I get on a plane, I can easily fall asleep before getting in the air. But this open door to a spiritual conversation was quite welcomed. For the next hour and a half of the 2 hour flight, Dave drilled me with scenarios about why a good guy, husband of one wife, wonderful father who service on the PTA should go to heaven and on the other hand a guy who has killed 30 people and then on his death bed professes faith in Christ should die. As the Lord laid Scripture on my heart, I was able to challenge his paradigm of human worth, the eternality of a soul, and what a fulfilled life truly is. I explained to my new friend Dave, that the good guy was simply basing his meritorious entry into heaven on his works, whereas the fictitious antagonist - the murderer- was basing his entry into heaven on the sacrificial work of Christ- what He has already done. Although this is easy to understand while reading, as I was speaking these truths, I was reminded of this wonderful reality. That it's not about me - neither how good nor how "bad" I am. It's all about Jesus! Thanks be to God. Although I can't give the good report that Dave bowed his head and gave his life to Christ at 30,000 feet, I do have a good word about the outcome. During our conversation, I continually used as much Scripture as possible for my responses. It was quite exciting. The best part of that was when I explained to him that when it comes to things like heaven and even faith in a God we don't see, the truth of the matter is that we "walk by faith and not by sight". Dave gave me a curious look when I said that. "Hmmm... Walk by faith and not by sight," he repeated. I said, "yeah, do you want me to write it down for you?" He said, "No, I'll remember that." I was thrilled when he said that. I prayed in my heart that God would sow the Word into him so deep that truth would spring up fruit for a harvest of coming to faith in his life. The outcome of the conversation was encouraging.

While down in Atlanta, I had a wonderful time hanging out with Jesse and Dillon, friends that I made in Arizona and God has allowed us to stay connected in spite of the fact that Dillon (button down) is now serving the country at a Marine Base in Jackson, NC and Jesse (green shirt) is working with kids as a pharmacist at a hospital in Atlanta. I also got to meet Rachel, Jesse's girlfriend, a cool southern belle from Florida. Together the four of us made enough noise to wake up many neighbors in the surrounding area. Laughter, smiles, and genuine conversation marked a quick but deep visit. For example, we started a discussion about what it means to truly desire racial reconciliation in the world and in the church. My boys are quite open to learning about different people, learning from different people, but aren't timid about sharing their opinion regarding controversial things or issues. They keep me sharp as they balance out a willingness to learn and dialog. I thank God for such brothers!

Gratefully God has allowed me to connect with other saints who are filled with the Spirit. It is encouraging to know that you're not alone in your pursuit of the Lord. When Sunday after Sunday I look around and feel as if I'm surrounded by robots who mechanically - file into pews, stand only when instructed, move theirs lips without a link to their heart, and quickly file out after the last song ends. Now, I think that they may have never encountered the living God; so I pray that they could taste and see His goodness and essence (Psalm 34:8). But how sweet it is to connect spirit-to-spirit with other saints that have experienced God's salvation - beyond justification, but sanctification!

On Sunday night a spontaneous "pot-pie party" hosted by my friend Eric (in the picture below sticking his head into the frame) allowed such a connection with me and five friends. The sisters in Christ present that night are teachers at Harvest Christian Academy (Kelly and Stephanie are to the right, Kim is below) and my brothers are involved in the Connect ministry at Harvest with me. After enjoying far too much of the succulent pot pie pastries and watching the premiere of the new Knight Rider Show (which by the way is sort of weak, except for the super -hot Ford Mustang Cobra SVT - the new K.I.T.T. The special effects were cool and I must confess I lusted after this car a little bit.) for the first couple of hours, I suggested that we spend some time sharing and encouraging one another. Over the next two hours we filled the room with the beautiful sound of voices crying out to Jesus in song as the guitar was strummed softly. Interspersed prayer helped usher in the Holy Spirit. Then one by one we each shared a testimony of what God has been teaching us along with areas of growth and expectation in the Lord. Once everyone had shared we continued in prayer and song asking the Lord to lead us and guide us collectively (during that time) and individually, even beyond that night. When I finally glanced at the clock, it was a little after 1 a.m.! And I was... not really tired...but I was still.... in awe at the presence of the Spirit of the living God. It was an awesome start to the week. I connected with God, and others in a way that honored Him and increased my faith. (which has been a prayer of mine lately) Lord please continue to increase my faith. Each person present contributed and the result was a dynamic experience that only could've been orchestrated by the Holy Spirit.

Finally, I have been waiting in excited anticipation to see where God would place me as a church planter. Over the past week I've been able to talk with my closest accountability brothers as well as my parents about an opportunity that was presented to me by the Harvest Bible Fellowship leaders. the overwhelming response from those with whom I've shared so far has been affirmation in the Spirit. With each person I get a different lens through which to look at this opportunity and I have been continually in prayer about it. I won't (yet) share a specific location, but I ask that you pray for God to continue to give me wisdom and discernment as I seek to transition to the next level of ministry. I am taking a trip to visit this location on Sunday and look forward to meeting other saints of the Lord Jesus Christ.
I pray for sweet communion in every possible way; ways that I can think of and even ways that I cannot yet imagine! Eph. 3:20

God hasn't ceased to blow my mind and I look forward to walking closer with Him today

Learning from Men of God.... and another chance to preach

Written two nights ago...
Right now I am on a train to hear Voddie Baucham at Moody Church, where he is speaking as one of the guests during their Founders' Week celebration. I have come to realize that another beautiful facet of this season for me here in Chicagoland is exposure to an even greater number of men of God.
Last week we went to Trinity Evangelical Divinity School for a church planting conference. During this event I had the privilege of going to lunch with one of their speakers, Mark Dever, the pastor of Capitol Hill Baptist Church - where they focus on knowing their members, taking membership with the utmost seriousness, to the degree that each week they reprint the member directory so that they can pray over their members and they always have the most up to date info. During lunch we had rich conversation. It was refreshing to hear another way of doing ministry.
Then a real joy was hearing Mark Driscoll speak about reaching this generation through preaching. A preacher known for being a "dude's dude" he has a bit of an "edge" but is effective in showing conviction about proclaiming Jesus Christ and encouraging others.... especially preachers to boldly proclaim the Word of Truth. Mark Driscoll challenges the young men of this generation to have conviction in living for Jesus; take care of the necessary things of life (job, school, care for family, etc.) but beyond that we are to be intentional about speaking the name of Jesus, truly considering the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, and in light of this make a stand in each of our decisions to honor Jesus in word or deed. This is a pic of Mark Driscoll and I.

Then last weekend I had the joy of preaching the Word at our Harvest Bible Chapel of Jacksonville. I brought a Word from 3rd John and encouraged myself as well as edified the saints. Here's a link to the website where you can listen to the sermon if you'd like:

http://web.mac.com/harvestjacksonville

Sermon was preached on Sunday, February 3.

We connected well and God was glorified! I had wonderful hosts Rob and Jenelle (seen in this pic with some others from the church L to R - Jenelle, Rob, Little Brian, Elaine and Big Brian). What sticks in my memory of my time in Jacksonville was the connection in the body of Christ that I experienced. With each visit that I make to preach at various churches, my prayer is that I could sense a bond in the Spirit. You know, when you meet someone and you just get a good feeling from the first time you meet someone. Nothing romantic, or strange but a genuine love and concern for someone else. A disarming willingness to connect with a new person and give of yourself and a desire to learn about someone else. My time with the saints in Jacksonville was just like that. I truly felt that as I met the people they weren't just digging for information, but cared about me and sought for God to show them how we could encourage one another in the Lord. In addition to the nice folks in the pic above, Shawn and Monica (below) also had many questions for me that ... uhhh... made me feel "loved". smile

I know that typically after a particularly strong experience in my walk with the Lord.. the enemy tries to swoop in and knock my legs from under me. I had a great time in the Lord - through bringing the Word, prayer, with people.... just a rich time ... well, maybe that's part of the reason that the last few days have been sort of tough. Mountain highs, valley lows. But God is faithfully walking with me through them all.

Even if I fall down, stumble or misstep, I know that God will give me the courage and faith in Him to get back up and press on for his glory!

Thanks for caring about me and thanks for praying ... please pray as you are led by the Holy Spirit.


p.s. when I got back from sunny, warm Jacksonville my car was kept safe. The Lord prevented any thieves from checking out the valuables in my car. I guess that is at least one blessing of the snow...reduced risk of theft? Hey, I'm trying to make lemonade out of lemons!
Later

A rant

Oh! How valuable are the prayers of the saints. I have been greatly encouraged by the consistent love shown to me by my friends… but more than that my real brothers and sisters in the Lord. I want you all to know that your prayers are timely and effective! Today I got a text from one of your stating that you were praying for me at 12:35 p.m.; at a very point in time when I was feeling insufficient and frustrated. I had a frustrating experience of getting stuck in the beautiful snow, was being attacked with feeling of insufficiency and felt unworthy to be blessed as I am. To a certain degree I am not worthy, but I would never be if all I did were to compare myself to others or to unrealistic expectations. As a result of your prayers and the moving of the Holy Spirit, I am confident that God will continue to perfect me into exactly what He wants me to be and will continue to comfort me with his presence. You may not have known why you prayed for me, but God does.

The question that I have been receiving more lately than in the preceding few months is “So you still want to come back to Phoenix?” My gut response used to be yes… and in my flesh the answer is yes. But as I was on the phone with a friend last night I confessed “It seems when I hold on to a thing really tightly then I risk getting them taken away. However, when I hold things loosely, not selfishly it seems God give me the option to take or leave something. And He knows that I will make the right choice when that happens. Or at least be more inclined to the right decision ☺.

I have a big meeting this afternoon, and my intent was to post this last night, so that I could solicit prayer. I didn’t get it posted… but you can still pray The meeting is with the leaders of the program that should give me a little more insight as to what I can expect my future to hold as a pastor.

For the first time people who don’t even know me have called me pastor! Granted we were at church but it was a humbling reminder of the weight of the responsibility of the calling to serve the Lord.

What I must remember - when I’m tempted to compare myself to others – is a truth that I heard in the past, “They aren’t like you… so you can’t expect to look to them for love, affirmation or acceptance. God will be your sufficiency, your exceeding great reward.”

Some of this might sound like ranting and seem a little incoherent; but the simple way to understand how I feel today is - unique. I have had a very different experience than everyone I know, although some parts are shared, God allows that so I can connect with people and minister to them.

Sanctified, set apart yes.... that's me... by God's grace